I am pretty sure everyone, who has ever worked on a busy IT helpdesk, has a story to tell about frustrated users calling in – and vice versa. Here are some of the best ones (with a lot of tongue in cheek) that I remember from my time supporting users…

Reason 1: Check the obvious

• Caller: My Computer won’t come on…
• Helpdesk: Is it plugged in?
• Caller: Oh, [pause] no [another pause] – should I plug it in?

Reason 2: The Internet is down

• Caller: I think the Internet is down, I can’t get on a website
• Helpdesk: What does it say on the screen?
• Caller: It says “This site has been blocked as it may contain inappropriate content.”

Reason 3: IT fix power stations

• Caller [on mobile]: We can’t get on the computer can someone come down and sort it out?
• Helpdesk: What, everyone can’t get on?
• Caller: Yes, everyone, the lights don’t work either, and neither does the coffee machine. Everything is off.

Reason 4: The old Apple MAC debate

• Caller: I need an Apple MAC – this PC is useless
• Helpdesk: Why in particular do you need an Apple MAC?
• Caller: Because everyone knows they are better than PC’s and I only use Apple stuff at home

Reason 5: Caller is an expert

• Caller: Before we start I should tell you I know a thing or two about computers

Reason 6: Electronic mail is down

• Caller: My email is down – it won’t respond and I haven’t received any email for ages
• Helpdesk: When did it go down?
• Caller: Just after I sent the last email but it hasn’t worked since
• Helpdesk: What was in the email?
• Caller: I sent a couple of attachments to a supplier
• Helpdesk: What does it say next to the email size in the outbox?
• Caller: [after a pause] 100GB? what does that mean?

Reason 7: I am building a data empire

• Caller: Hello, I need some database software as I have outgrown the spreadsheet
• Helpdesk: What do you need database software for?
• Caller: I got fed up of using the main system so I enter all the data into my own files

Reason 8: I need a new keyboard

• Caller: Hello, I need a new keyboard
• Helpdesk: What’s the matter with your current keyboard
• Caller: I tipped coffee over it by accident, I washed it out but it still doesn’t work

Reason 9: I didn’t save the file

• Caller: Hello, I have been working on a spreadsheet all day but forget to save it – can you get it back for me?

Reason 10: The importance of information

• Caller: Hello, I need a new USB Memory Stick for transferring my files between home and work
• Helpdesk: A new one? What happened to the old one – I didn’t even know you had one
• Caller: Oh, I lost it somewhere

What experiences have you had with your IT Helpdesk?